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 What
you can expect
What
kinds of feelings are "normal"? There is no "right"
way to feel; the important thing is to handle your emotions in a
way that works for you. Many survivors find that the key for them
is talking their feelings out-with family and friends, health professionals,
other patients, and counselors such as clergy and psychotherapists.
The
following stories show the range of feelings that many cancer survivors
have. Each of them is a normal reaction that is often part of the
cancer survivor's life.
- "In
the first 6 months after my cancer treatment, I saw my cancer
more as a threat to my life plans for marriage and a career than
I did as a threat to my life. I felt the most depressed and anxious
during the first 3 months, but then I started to get back to normal.
I say started, because I'm not sure I'm there yet. It's getting
better, but I still feel a little off balance." -Marcia B.
- "I
don't intend to focus on cancer for the rest of my life. I follow
my care plan but I don't dwell on the disease or talk about it
to others. Some (I suppose) well-meaning people at the office
said that my reaction is called denial, and that it is bad for
me. I talked about it with the doctor, and he said denial can
be positive when it helps you get on with your life. I have my
ups and downs like every one else, but I feel good about the way
I'm handling my disease."-Joe K.
| Surviving
Cancer-Hopeful Trends |
- There
are over 8 million cancer survivors in America
today.
- If
lung cancer deaths were excluded, cancer mortality
would have declined 14 percent between 1950 and
1990.
- The
number of people who have survived cancer for
5 or more years has increased significantly since
1973 for cancers of the colon, stomach, testis,
and bladder, and for Hodgkin's disease and leukemia.
- Studies
show that for most patients the emotional upset
after cancer diagnosis and treatment decreases
over time.
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- "I
have to say that there's been one positive result of my having
had cancer. It made me look at the real possibility of my own
death, something I had never thought much about before. That made
me take a hard look at my life and decide what really mattered
to me. As a survivor, I now see every day as a precious gift."-Vicki
W.
- "My
cancer treatment ended 10 years ago, but I still get anxious every
time I go in for a checkup. The nurse told me that's a common
reaction."-Dave L.
- "I
was very surprised at how few of my friends really made the effort
to 'be there' for me. I talked to the nurse about this during
my last checkup. She said that people often want to help but they
don't know how-and they may be embarrassed to ask. So I decided
to make the first move with some of the people I cared about most.
It was hard, but I think I broke down a wall when I spoke openly
about my feelings and my needs. I feel much more in touch and
supported now -Rhonda L.
- "My
cancer has led to some difficult family situations. The hardest
thing was learning to adjust to different family roles. My wife
went back to work during my recovery, and my teenage daughter
had to take care of the house. As I got better, none of us was
sure what roles were 'normal' and my daughter especially didn't
want any changes that limited her independence. At that point
the doctor suggested family therapy. I had my doubts, but seeing
the real problems behind the obvious problems made a difference.
After we worked through solutions together, I think we're closer
now than ever before."-Ralph Y.
- "People
have recovered from every type of cancer, no matter how gloomy
the first reports. Yes, we're all going to die someday of something.
But I plan to push that day back as far as I can, and to go out
fighting whenever the time comes."-Betty R.
Tips
for coping with survivor stress
The
following tips come from the experiences of survivors in the American
Cancer Society's "I Can Cope" program. They are adapted
from ideas appearing in a book, I Can Cope-Staying Healthy With
Cancer, coauthored by the program's cofounder, Judi Johnson.
- Be
kind to yourself. Instead of telling yourself you can't do something
you should do, focus on what you can do and what you want to do.
Instead of telling yourself you look awful, think of ways to make
the most of your best features.
- Help
others. Reaching out to someone else can reduce the stress caused
by brooding.
- Don't
be afraid to say no. Polite but firm refusals help you stay in
control of your life.
- Talk
about your concerns. It's the best way to release them.
- Learn
to pace yourself. Stop before you get tired.
- Give
in sometimes. Not every argument is worth winning.
- Get
enough exercise. It's a great way to get rid of tension and aggression
in a positive way.
- Take
time for activities you enjoy, whether it's a hobby, club, or
special project.
- Take
one thing at a time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, divide your
list into manageable parts.
- Set
priorities. Don't try to be Superman or Superwoman.
- Solve
problems like an expert. First, identify the problem and write
it down, so it's clear in your mind. Second, list your options
with the pros and cons of each. Third, choose a plan. Fourth,
list the steps to accomplish it. Then give yourself a deadline
and act. Sometimes just having a plan can reduce the stress of
the problem.
| Is
a survivors' group right for you? |
|
If
you answer, "yes" to most of the following
questions, joining a cancer survivors' group may
be a positive step for you.
- Are
you comfortable sharing your feelings with others
in a similar situation?
- Are
you interested in hearing others' feelings about
their experiences?
- Could
you benefit from the advice of others who have
gone through cancer treatment?
- Do
you enjoy being part of a group?
- Do
you have helpful information or hints to share
with others?
- Would
reaching out to support other cancer survivors
give you satisfaction?
- Would
you feel comfortable working with survivors who
have different ways of facing forward?
- Are
you interested in learning more about cancer and
survivor issues?
- Focus
on the positive. If you have a setback, think
about all of the good things you've done.
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- Eat
properly.
- Get
enough sleep.
- Laugh
at least once a day.
Options
for getting emotional support
Join
a cancer survivors' group.
- Ask
your doctor, nurse, or social worker about programs available
at local hospitals.
- Call
your local cancer support organizations, including the American
Cancer Society, which may sponsor groups in your area. Check the
telephone book for contact information.
Talk
to your family and friends.
- Help
them understand how they can help you.
- Talk
about their needs for support.
Talk
to your clergyman or clergywoman.
- Consider
professional mental health assistance.
- Consult
a psychologist, nurse therapist, clinical social worker, or psychiatrist.
- For
marital or family issues, consult a licensed or family therapist.
Work
with someone on the medical team to solve problems.
-
Get help in dealing with your hospital, clinic, or health maintenance
organization.
- Ask
about health concerns that cause you stress.
Support
yourself.
- Draw
on your own strength.
- Read
about how others cope. Ask at your local bookstore for accounts
by cancer survivors.
Reach
out to others.
- Helping
others can help you feel stronger and more in control.
- For
some people, helping other cancer survivors is a satisfying way
to reach out.
For
more information about cancer, go to PersonalMD.coms Cancer
Center or contact the National Cancer Institute of the
National Institutes of Health http://www.nci.nih.gov/
or the American Cancer Society www.cancer.org
Source:
National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health
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© 2000 PersonalMD.com. All rights reserved.
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