Depending on whom you believe, when seven-year-old Lydia Hanson
told people at her school her mother was dead, her teacher either
told her ``not to talk like that,'' or else made only a weak
attempt to find out if such a morbid comment was true.
It was.
But no one questioned the Peabody, Mass. first grader,so Hanson
took the schoolbus home and spent a night alone curled up with her
mother's corpse before her grandfather discovered them the
following morning.
The grim tale was the talk of school hallways throughout
Massachusetts and made national headlines, setting off an angry and
anguished debate about what educators should or must do when
students approach them with shocking or disturbing comments.
Teachers and others who work with children agreed that Lydia's
teacher probably should have done more when the child said, ``My
mom is dead'' at school last Friday. But some of them said it was a
mistake any teacher could make, especially in today's
violence-saturated society, when the vocabulary of tragedy is
familiar even to the smallest children.
Ellie Friedland, professor of early childhood education at
Wheelock College in Boston, said children often make dark or
troubling comments.
At their age, first graders are typically struggling to make
sense of what they see and hear, Friedland said. They can use
violent drawings to express fear, or make statements that do not
make sense to adults.
``At these ages, children will say all kinds of things, and
sometimes it is not clear if they are talking about fantasy or
reality,'' Friedland said. ``I could absolutely see a kid saying
that kind of thing. Kids at that age are very involved with trying
to understand death and dying.''
Yet most educators said teachers should never blithely dismiss
students' remarks, like Hanson's, that seem so alarming.
``It would seem to me that it should have been checked out in
fairly short order,'' said Stephen Gorrie, president of the
Massachusetts Teachers Association, who was a fourth grade teacher
for 27 years. ``I know we run the risk of the little boy who cried
wolf, but still, at least check it out!''
Meanwhile, Wednesday Lydia's grandfather, Richard Tucker,
continued to denounce the Kiley School, saying he will not allow
the girl to return there and may consider taking legal action.
With the case sparking widespread controversy, Peabody Mayor
Peter Torigan said the city's school committee will review the
incident.
Massachusetts teachers and principals interviewed Wednesday said
they probably would have treated Hanson's remarks with more
urgency.
Grafton first grade teacher Lucille Boutiette said if a student
told her a parent had died, she would quickly respond.
``I would say, `That bothers me. Gee, why would you say that?'
'' Boutiette said. ``Even if they said `no reason,' or `never
mind,' I would still want to probe it further.''
Some educators had a much harsher judgment of the Peabody
teacher's actions, but were reluctant to speak publicly without
knowing the full details. Their feelings were reflected by one
superintendent from a city north of Boston, who asked not to be
named.
``You are not talking about Santa Claus,'' said the
superintendent. ``No kid ever says their mother is dead. Every day,
7-year-olds come in and tell teachers stories. You play along with
it, it's part of growing up. But they don't say their mother is
dead. ... That should make anyone sit up and listen.''
According to Lydia's grandparents and family friends, the Kiley
School teacher sent the girl back to her desk when she stated --
without emotion -- that her mother was dead.
But Superintendent Louis Perullo said Lydia told classmates, not
the teacher. Her teacher overheard her and went to a guidance
counselor for help, he said. The counselor was busy, however, and
neither took action before Lydia had already left for the day.
She went home where her mother's body sat in a recliner in the
living room. Kimberly Hanson, 33, a single mother who had diabetes,
probably died of natural causes that morning, according to police.
After doing her homework, eating leftovers for dinner and
microwaving popcorn, Lydia spent Thursday night curled up in a
quilt and sleeping in her dead mother's arms.
Although the school has called to apologize and Perullo said
everyone ``feels awful,'' Tucker said Wednesday he is not
satisfied.
``The apology is nice, but that's not an answer,'' Tucker said.
``I expect far more of an answer out of them.''
Tucker said he and his wife will seek permanent custody of
Hanson and enroll her in public school in Hamilton, Mass., where
they live, rather than allow her to continue at the Kiley School.
``She never should have had to spend the night alone with her
mom -- dead,'' he said. ``There is no excuse for what has
happened.''
Some educators stressed that Lydia's lack of emotion at school
should not have lulled her teacher into discounting her remarks.
``She could have been traumatized, so she's totally numb -- her
effect is flat,'' said Diane Levin, author of ``Teaching Young
Children in Violent Times,'' and a professor at Wheelock. ``Also
little kids have learned something about death, but it doesn't have
a whole lot of concrete meaning to them. She doesn't understand
death the way you or I would.''
Most schools have established guidelines specifying how to
report alarming behavior -- especially important since schools have
a legal obligation to report suspicion of abuse or neglect.
But Richard Capone, principal of Hancock School in Brockton,
Mass., said busy school officials are so overwhelmed they might not
treat every case with appropriately weighty attention.
``I have 800 kids here and one (guidance) counselor,'' Capone
said. ``In the course of a day, lots of things come up. ... You
need to check everything, and we do, ... but there are so many
things.''
This is the second time in a month a child was found to be
attending school with a dead parent at home. Family and friends
went to visit Travis Butler in Tennessee on Dec. 6 and found the
9-year-old boy alone with his 30-year-old mother's corpse.
His mother had died of natural causes a month earlier, but
Travis covered her body and went to school as usual, afraid of
being sent to a foster home.
Levin argues that teachers need better training in how to
respond when children talk about violence and death. They do so
more and more, she said, because of the influence of news and
entertainment.
But Lydia's story illustrates that teachers today have less time
and fewer resources to look after their students' emotional needs,
Levin said.
``I think it's a story for our time,'' Levin said. ``As we're
under more and more pressure to focus on things like MCAS, there's
less and less focus on the well being of our kids. Teachers are
being forced to shortchange the stuff that's really best for
children.''
