By Ivor Davis
For years, Oscar-winning actress Kim Basinger was too terrified
to leave the house.
``Fear has been something I've lived with my entire life, the
fear of being in public places -- which led to anxiety or panic
attacks,'' Basinger says in a remarkable interview on ``Panic,''
the powerful documentary which airs on HBO in September.
The 45-year-old actress, who won an Academy Award in 1997 for
her role in ``L.A. Confidential,'' says she has been a lifelong
victim of agoraphobia.
The disorder, with its far-reaching and debilitating effects,
has affected her throughout her career and continued even after she
received her profession's most coveted award.
For a time, Basinger now reveals, the disorder turned her into a
virtual recluse.
A former top model and ``Bond girl'' (in ``Never Say Never
Again,'' 1983), Basinger has starred in films such as ``The
Natural'' (1984), ``9 1/2 Weeks'' (1986) and ``Batman'' (1989).
She made millions of dollars as one of America's best-known
movie stars, but her career always seemed to hang by a thread.
Basinger's panic attacks had become a terrible secret which she
felt she had to hide from the public eye.
``I stayed in my house and literally cried every day. I didn't
know what it was. I didn't know how to define it,'' she recalls.
``You feel so isolated, so alone, so scared. I just kept talking
to God and saying, `Help me. I don't know where to go or what to
do...''' the actress says.
Basinger, who has a 4-year-old girl with husband Alec Baldwin,
says that when the tidal wave of media attention hit shortly before
her Oscar triumph, her problems worsened.
``I was taking a shower,'' she recalls, ``And the thought came
that I might win and have to go on stage and say something. I broke
out in a sweat. Anytime they stuck a microphone in my face, the
words would strangle me. I won the Oscar, but I still don't know
how to talk about it,'' Basinger adds sadly.
Sitting in her Hollywood home today, the star describes the
feeling of being engulfed by fear of the outside world.
``It can hit at any time,'' she says. ``You feel like you're in
an open field, and there's a tornado coming at you. And you're just
consumed by it.''
Between 23 and 28 million Americans (roughly 10 percent of the
population) suffer from some form of anxiety or panic disorder,
according to experts interviewed on the HBO documentary. But only
one in four agoraphobics seeks treatment.
Some say the condition can be traced to flaws in the brain's
structure, while others compare it to a kind of imaginary
suffocation. Still others say the ailment could be a throwback to
the primitive ``fight or flight'' mechanism.
Basinger's problems began when she was a shy middle child
growing up in Athens, Ga.
``I would have a horrendous time being called on to stand up and
read words out loud in front of other kids. I'd literally start
shaking and sweating and not being able to breathe and would come
close to fainting,'' she says.
Basinger moved to New York and became a sought-after model,
earning $1,000 a day. In 1976 she moved to Hollywood and in just
three years won a leading role in the television remake of ``From
Here to Eternity.''
She appeared to be the epitome of a confident, ambitious young
actress, and even posed naked for a Playboy spread.
But behind the pose, she says, there was anguish.
Basinger vividly recalls her first adult panic attack, which
struck her in her mid-20s.
``I was in a health-food store. All of a sudden everything
became silent. I could see people's mouths moving, but there was
nothing inside my head other than these strange sounds. My hands
were shaking. I was sweating so profusely I could not move,'' she
says.
``I made it to my car and remember getting the keys in the
ignition, cranking the car up, taking the back roads to my home and
parking. I didn't leave the house for six months,'' Basinger adds.
Even though her career was booming, she felt crippled and became
so depressed she considered suicide.
``I felt completely paralyzed ... I couldn't go out without
feeling that I might unwind. You want to just get up and scream or
run,'' Basinger says.
When the attacks continued and she feared she might lose her
mind, she sought treatment from Dr. Ronald Doctor, a specialist who
treated her symptoms without the use of drugs.
``My therapy was about awareness and education. And it lessened
those horrible panic attacks,'' she says.
Basinger was one of the lucky ones: Even though doctors say that
80 to 90 percent of all agoraphobia patients recover, few seek
treatment.
Many agoraphobics feel their condition is misunderstood and
underestimated, and they crave understanding. Even Basinger's
husband had a hard time coming to terms with her illness.
``He was baffled by it and wasn't sure it really existed. But he
has seen a great change in me,'' says Basinger, adding that she has
learned to face her fears and has regained control of her life.
``I'm not naked anymore. I'm not standing alone as a frail kid.
I've had so much help, and so much guidance.
``When I take my last breath,'' she adds, with a laugh, ``It's
not going to be because I'm having a panic attack -- that's for
darned sure.''
c.1999 Ivor Davis
Ivor Davis is a Hollywood-based reporter and columnist.
